Why I love men

I was asked recently how my work affects my relationships with men. I’ve heard some opinions that sex workers must have unpleasant experiences with male clients, or that Dommes want to torture men because some part of them is a man-hater. Of course, there is a variety of reasons why someone would choose to be a dominatrix, but I can only speak for myself when I say doing the work I do has actually made me develop more empathy and appreciation for men. Honestly, I couldn’t do what I do if I didn’t truly love men.

The majority of my clients are male-identifying. What I see time and again is that men are deeply repressed in our culture. Broadly-accepted expressions of masculinity are very limited. In our society, masculinity is not just something you have, it’s something you have to prove over and over again. Being vulnerable, expressing emotions, qualities of softness, and alternative sexual desires are generally not allowed for men. My experiences as a Domme have caused me to cultivate more compassion and empathy for the male experience, which I use to create space for them to express a different side. When men spend time with me, it’s safe for them to be sensitive, submissive, feminine, exposed, emotional, slutty, receptive, etc. When human complexities are repressed, it causes a lot of distress and leads to emotional and mental issues. This is why toxic masculinity is such a prevalent force, and why I believe it’s more important than ever to do what I do and provide the space for male clients to express their own complexities and desires.

Immersing myself in the femdom world, I’ve also seen what men are capable of, and it is impressive. It is male-nature to feel most fulfilled when they have a purpose, and I truly believe that the highest purpose men can have is to be in service to women. At his crown potential, a man is a woman’s greatest protector, provider, ally, supporter, and servant. Countless times, I have witnessed the benefits men receive when they are serving women, and I have experienced deep appreciation and joy when being served by men. I also find great joy in playing with and training men. It is truly a beautiful thing to take a capable and eager male and mold him into the perfect servant/toy/lover/sub/cuck/etc. How could I not love men when they can be so useful?

Of course not all men are living into this higher purpose, and it’s simply impossible not to deal with toxic masculinity in our day-to-day. However, interacting as a Domme with men has in many ways restored my faith in men, especially as I explore my own expression as a femdom and attract clients who are aligned with my interests and values. I have met some of most amazing men! And their positive impact on me has helped cultivate my deep love for men.

Please note that while this post is focused on my male-identifying clients, subs, and slaves and why I love them, I also truly enjoy working with people of all genders and sexual identities. Being able to create space for many different people to explore and express themselves is a great honor for me.


Domestic Touring

Maybe it’s the Sagittarius in me, maybe it’s my love of adventure and trying new things, or maybe I just need to get out of NYC regularly in order to live there, but I love to travel! There are so many amazing places within the US alone that are still on my bucket list - I would love to do a road trip to some of the major US parks.

One of the best things about traveling for me is that I get to meet new submissives in any major metropolitan area. I really enjoy getting to try out a new city, from the food and landmarks, to the subs and slaves. No matter where I go, there are subs eager to be at my feet and serve a true NYC Goddess.

I spend a lot of time in nice hotels when on tour. My favorite is when a slave has paid for my travel expenses and accommodations. I especially love a hotel room with a good bathtub! On my recent trip to Houston I was blessed with a giant bathtub and some bath bombs from a slave back home. I spent a long time luxuriating and binge watching Maniac on Netflix while soaking.

 Soaking with a green bath bomb. I have a #bathfetish!

Soaking with a green bath bomb. I have a #bathfetish!

When I’m not taking baths, eating out, or exploring a local museum, nothing makes me happier than having femdom sessions while I travel. There truly are kinky people everywhere! Some of my favorite clients live all over the country and it’s always a joy to catch up with my regulars. Hotels are some of the best settings to take photos as well. I love teasing my subs by posting photos between sessions.


Boston is one of my favorite cities to visit. I love the historic charm of downtown! But it’s really my loyal fans in Boston that keep bringing me back. I am served by some of the most amazing and obedient subs in Boston. You boys really know how to make a Goddess feel special! If you’ve ever thought about me visiting your city, feel free to contact me to make that request. I travel to new locations when a client pays for travel expenses and books a session.

 Relaxing before a session in Boston

Relaxing before a session in Boston

DomCon New Orleans 2018

It’s been ages since I posted a blog update. It’s something that I want to do more of, and I figured writing about DomCon in New Orleans would be the perfect way to start it off!

I had such a wonderful time at this year’s event. It was my first time in New Orleans and the colorful city did not disappoint. I travelled with a couple of colleagues from NYC, Mistress Lucy Sweetkill and Domina Dia Dynasty. They brought a couple of their slaves, who we enjoyed training, tormenting, and teasing throughout the weekend. The slaves made themselves useful as well, making reservations at some of New Orlean’s top restaurants, paying for our decadent meals, carrying our bags, and serving as foot stools and whipping boys when called upon for service.

 Using a slave as a chair at the DomCon social

Using a slave as a chair at the DomCon social

I also had the immense pleasure of meeting Domina Yuki, a San Francisco-based Prodomme. The four of us had a wonderful time, exploring the city, taking classes at the convention, enjoying a magical afternoon at the aquarium. Life really is better when you have some bad-ass babes at your side to cause trouble.

 Yuki, Lucy, Dia, and I getting ready to head to the DomCon Social

Yuki, Lucy, Dia, and I getting ready to head to the DomCon Social

DomCon is wonderful event to network and learn from others in the BDSM community. I felt such camaraderie and connection meeting so many other amazing professional and lifestyle Dommes from all across the country. My favorite class was a hypnosis class taught by the legendary Simone Justice. She is really an amazing woman, with a presence and energy that captivates you. It was mesmerizing to watch her bring her submissive into a trance state and mind fuck him. I’m excited to try out what I learned in the class and incorporate more hypnosis into my sessions. Digging deep into a submissive’s mind and rearranging things to my liking is such a thrill!

 From left to right: Me, Dia Dynasty, Simone Justice, and Lucy Sweetkill

From left to right: Me, Dia Dynasty, Simone Justice, and Lucy Sweetkill

We made sure to get some relaxing time in as well, enjoying the hotel pool, exploring the local aquarium, enjoying the parks by the water of the Mississippi, and eating as many beignets as possible. New Orleans offers some amazing restaurant options, with southern fried comfort food, delicious cajun spices, succulent BBQ, and fresh seafood. It was wonderful to walk down Frenchman Street and hear amazing live jazz music. I absolutely want to come back and explore more. I didn’t even get a chance to see some of the beautiful cemeteries!

 My ass causing a scene as usual ;)

My ass causing a scene as usual ;)

Overall, I couldn’t have had a better DomCon! It was a perfect mix of connecting to fellow Dommes, kinky play, exploring New Orleans, and luxuriating. I left feeling inspired and so thankful for the amazing life I lead. Thank you to everyone who makes DomCon happen! What a special event.

Happy New Year!

The Holidays are finally over and 2018 is officially underway! I finished My Holiday travel in Colorado with some quality family time and a quick stop in Denver for some sessions and time with personal subs. My last day in Denver before My flight back to NYC was particularly fun: I got high on some superior Colorado weed and relaxed while a sub massaged Me for hours. If you don't already know, I am addicted to massages! I especially love foot massages, but really most kinds of massage will make Me happy. Sitting back and smoking while getting a massage is especially delightful for Me and has Me feeling like a pampered Goddess. I made sure to get a little public humiliation in before My flight as well: an eager sub in the area wanted to run an errand for Me, so I made him fetch Me food for My flight. My massage-sub drove Me to meet the errand bitch, we parked behind him, he came over to My window, I took the food from him, and then leaned over and spit in his face before driving off maniacally laughing! These kind of brief, humiliating exchanges in public really light Me up. Thanks bitch for making My day! 


Holidays can be a pretty stressful time of year, so I made sure to celebrate the New Year in just the perfect way: staying in with a sexy man and having him pleasure Me all night. Cucks: be jealous! This man was fulfilling lots of fantasies and taking care of Me in ways you never will. I was cumming on his face when I heard fireworks going off at midnight. This is how a Goddess rings in the New Year! Mark My words: 2018 is the year of the Goddess. I have several goals and intentions, including visiting 3 new countries, making health and physical fitness even more of a priority, working on photography and other creative projects, and welcoming positive masculine energy into My life, whether it's from lovers, clients, slaves, or subs, I expect the men to serve and support My highest self in 2018. This is the perfect time of year to cut out everything that doesn't serve you, and make room for powerful choices that come from love. What are your goals for 2018? How will you welcome more Divine Goddess energy into your life? In what ways will you serve the amazing women in your life? Many blessings into this year, from your Goddess Aviva. 

Winter travel

Winter can be a hard time of year: freezing weather, stressful holidays, seasonal depression... good thing I'm a Goddess and living My best life! I've set Myself up to have an incredible winter this year, including lots of travel. It's such a privilege to be able to travel the world while working and being served. As I write this post, I'm relaxing in bed at a friend's house in Houston, Texas. This is My first time in Texas, and everything is bigger here! My friend's have a huge house, complete with giant tub with jets, so naturally I've been taking a lot of baths. Just last night, one of My friends served as My bath butler, cleaning the tub, lighting candles, pouring wine: truly a gift! I was flown out to Houston for some sessions and to record content for the podcast Weird Frakin' Shtako (will be sure to release the link when it's live). It's been such a joy to escape NYC for a bit and enjoy the warm weather and southern hospitality. Seriously, I'm so well-served here. Houston seems to have a high concentration of foot slaves, who have been begging and eager to please Me and make My stay easier. Thank you to all the slaves who have made this trip special! 


But the fun doesn't stop in Houston! Tomorrow I'm heading to Dallas to dominate the subs there. Looking forward to seeing some art museums and tasting some BBQ. I'll also be coming through Denver December 27th-28th, so you Colorado foot slaves have an opportunity to be on your hands and knees for Me. I only have one night for femdom sessions, so make it count!

January will be a good month for travel as well! I'll be heading to Tulum, Mexico from January 10-17th. Expect lots of pictures of Me in a bikini drinking a coconut a playing in the turquoise water. And of course I can't leave My Boston slaves wanting for too long, so will be coming through Boston January 24-26th. Bookings for Boston femdom sessions are made here

However, the biggest and most exciting trip I'm taking this winter is to Thailand. I fly into Bangkok on February 2nd and will be staying two months in SE Asia. This is My first time in Asia, and I couldn't be more excited to explore a new place. I want to see lots of beautiful temples, hike in rainforests, relax on pristine beaches, and get lots of massages. Make sure to check My twitter and website for updated info about where and when I'm offering sessions during these trips. I plan to session in Bangkok in early February and end of March/early April. This is a rare chance for those of you in Thailand to serve a Dominant Foot Goddess! #bangkokmistress #bangkokfemdom #bangkokdominatrix #bangkokdomme Also if you have reccomendations for places to stay or things to do in Thailand, feel free to email Me: goddessaviva@gmail.com

Having the freedom to travel and make money is such a blessing, which I truly appreciate. I'm also so grateful to have slaves all over the world eager to please Me. "A slave in every port" is so true. Thank you again to all the subs and slaves who serve Me on My trips, who fly Me to new locations, and who make My life the amazing Goddess adventure it is. Happy Holidays and let's bring in 2018 with an abundance of love, joy, and kinky adventures. 

Is BDSM trending?

Is it just Me or have you also noticed BDSM showing up in mainstream media more and more? Whether it's a mention of golden showers on a tv show, or articles on spanking and foot fetish, it seems like more people are interested in and talking about BDSM and kink. Personally, I think it's wonderful that this subject is becoming more mainstream. In general, I think more people are kinky than we have been lead to believe and My hope is that kink and BDSM can be accepted as healthy forms of sexual self-expression. I'm doing My part to make that hope a reality, by teaching classes, mentoring newbie Femdoms, and giving My input for various articles. Recently I was interviewed by Sophie Saint Thomas for Allure magazine! Check out the article on foot care tips and foot fetish. It's still blowing My mind a bit that such a mainstream magazine is featuring articles like this. Bravo Allure! And if you haven't already, check out this article on CBT by Refinery 29 that I was featured on. I'm really thrilled to be able to share My knowledge and perspective with a broader audience. 

allure magazine foot fetish.jpg

CA vibes - DomConLA and Dominating SF

It's official: I made it to My first DomCon! I was very excited to see what the convention was all about, meet other kinksters, and enjoy some CA vibes! As soon as I landed and checked into the hotel, I was a busy bee, with 3 sessions back to back! I wore lingerie and leather while training and humiliating My subs. They were lucky to serve Me that day, being the Goddess that I am. 

As the weekend went on, I caused all kinds of trouble! Saturday in particular was a wonderful day of shooting guns, lounging by a beautiful pool, and then attending the Fetish Ball at night. I had the best time with some of My close, kinky friends and make some new connections along the way. Life is a dream when you're a Goddess who has slaves waiting on Me hand and foot and friends to have adventures with. 

 shooting guns!!!! so fun!!!  photo taken by www.instagram.com/the_2500/

shooting guns!!!! so fun!!!  photo taken by www.instagram.com/the_2500/

 Lounging in the pool. Photo by https://www.instagram.com/the_2500/

Lounging in the pool. Photo by https://www.instagram.com/the_2500/

 My outfit for the Fetish Ball at DomConLA

My outfit for the Fetish Ball at DomConLA

After dominating LA and having lots of fun in the sun, I set off to San Fransisco. This was My first time visiting, and certainly won't be the last. What I love most about SF (besides the eager subs who were begging to serve Me) is how much nature is a part of the city. Living in NYC has Me craving for trees, beach, open sky. I went on several hikes in SF, had an afternoon at the beach, and generally enjoyed feeling connected to the natural world while enjoying city life. I had a fabulous few days there, with multiple femdom sessions, luxurious hotels with spa visits and massages in My hotel room, and two fetish photoshoots (pics coming soon).

I'm looking forward to My next trip to CA, but for now I'm ruling My empire back home in NYC. Feels great to be back and My regular clients, new male subs, and loyal personal slaves. I also have lots of fun weekend trips coming up, including a Goddess retreat this weekend and a visit to Boston June 18-20th. If you're interested in serving Me in a session while I'm in Boston, fill out a contact form. And as always, to see more pics from My Goddess Life, check out My Twitter @goddessaviva and Instagram @thegoddessaviva. 

My crazy weekend and more articles on BDSM

What a crazy, amazing, beautiful weekend I just had! Mostly it was filled with tantalizing sexual adventures: having a male top offer himself to Me as a sex-slave and deliver with his skills (I'm so sexy and manipulating even Doms want to submit to Me), a private play party at what I consider NYC's sexiest private club where I did a workshop on D/s, and a steamy all-night-into-the-next-morning threesome with a God and Goddess straight from heaven. On top of all that, I got to meet the amazing sex-writer for Refinery29, Sophie, and we dished on CBT and foot fetishes. It's such a treat to meet fun, smart, interesting people in the scene and connect on BDSM and the lifestyle. Sophie and I got along so well she even quoted Me in a couple of recent articles for Refinery29! Check out what I have to say about CBT here, identifying as a switch here, and foot fetish here.  And for those that enjoyed My piece with Metro about 10 Questions, I went even deeper in the latest article: BDSM is an "Act of Compassion"

It's such a joy to be living this life, exploring and connecting with people through kink and BDSM, and sharing all of that with the mainstream through articles. I hope you enjoy reading about these topics as much I enjoyed talking about them!

 Post-threesome morning scene...what a great night!

Post-threesome morning scene...what a great night!

Interview with Metro!!!

I've been back in NYC for almost a month since all of My international winter travels, and what a month it has been! While I still dream of the perfect beaches and hot surfers of Sydney, it feels amazing to be in NYC. It's been wonderful to come back to My stable of slaves and regular clients: thank you all for your warm welcome home, I can tell you all missed Me so much! As I continue to build My empire, make self-improvements, and expand My influence as a Dominatrix and BDSM teacher, it gives Me great pride to be able to reach more of the mainstream and dispel some misconceptions about what it means to be a professional and lifestyle Dominatrix. For anyone who's had questions for a Dominatrix, My interview with Metro is a great read! I met the writer, Kimberly, at an NSFW event where I was teaching D/s and impact play.  I hope to continue to be a voice for sex and kink-positivity, BDSM that is Safe Sane and Consensual, and tapping into/expressing our divine sexual selves. 

 Photo:  NYCRyan

Photo: NYCRyan

The Femdom Diaries - new book by Mistress Darcy!

I am SO EXCITED to get My copy of The Femdom Diaries, a new book coming out on Valentine's Day, written by My long-time friend in the scene, Mistress Darcy. This fellow lifestyle and prodomme has been making waves in the international femdom community, and is now unleashing her creativity in writing steamy BDSM erotic fiction. So proud of this bad-ass bitch! I couldn't agree more with her when she says “Professional domination is, for me, about helping people. Helping them find themselves, express themselves, release shame, and embrace joy.”

The Femdom Diaries launches on Amazon Kindle on Valentines Day for $5.99. Purchase here. It makes the perfect Valentine's gift for all you kinky fucks out there! 

Boston bitches

I had such an amazing trip to Boston the 10-12th! It's always a pleasure to come to that great city and be served by such amazing subs and slaves. Thank you Boston for always taking such good care of Me! I felt completely pampered with chauffeurs, errand boys, dinner dates, and of course the great subs who served Me in session - you know who you are! I finally had the chance to break in the new PVC stiletto boots from My wish-list, and they were a total hit! If you missed Me on this trip, you may get the chance to serve next month, as I'm considering another visit in mid-December. As always, follow protocol and fill out a contact form to book. 

Using My Blog Again

It's been ages since I've used the blog feature on my website, so I'm excited to get back into it. I feel I have too many interesting experiences and insights not to be sharing with my fans. To start things off, I want to share this article from Quartz that discusses how a kinky sex life is actually healthy and can help us get into a state of "flow", I couldn't agree more! I'm all about a sex- and kink-positive lifestyle, so keep exploring and finding what works for you. 


NYC Fetish Party

Some friends organized a private fetish party last night, so of course I took a little piggy slave of mine and had a blast! Matching outfits, a bag of toys, luxurious penthouse setting, and sexy people all made for a memorable night.

I'm baaaaaack!

It feels so good to be back in NYC after so much time away! I'm settled in and ready to kick some ass. I just got these new boxing gloves and have started training again, perfecting my punching and kicking for slaves. I've also been practicing my florentine flogging. Get ready slaves... it's going to be a hot summer!

Vacation time...

I'll be leaving NYC for a few weeks, going off the grid and taking some much needed 'Me' time. Looking forward to returning to New York rejuvenated and ready for action. In the meantime, I won't be answering emails much, and won't be taking calls or texts. xx